Hey yall! Hope everyone is doing well! So by now you know I am a very married woman! I have been in a relationship with my husband for 12 years, and in this time I have never been picked up on, until a trip to Wal-Mart on a Friday winter night.
The hubby and I were on the way to the hunting camp for a getaway weekend and we always stop at Wal-Mart before we get to Gods country. We were pulling the four wheelers on the trailer and the hubby decided to sit in the truck. As I walk into the garden section, I notice that there are a lot of men just wondering around; I thought to myself "the wife must have made him come to Wal-Mart and he's wasting time!" As I speed walk to the sporting goods section, I come upon my first item on the list, deer corn. I forgot to explain my attire for the afternoon; I am wearing blue jeans, a camo shirt and a camo jacket, while carrying a camo purse.
As I'm tossing the forty pound bags of corn in my buggy, a man gently smiles and asks "hey perrty lady do you need some help with that corn?" I smiled and said, "No thank you, I got it." I turned around and as fast as I could, I loaded up four more bags of deer corn into my buggy. As I took off for the other side of the store, I thought that surely that man was just being nice and not trying to hit up on me. I finally made it to the other side of the store and loaded my buggy up with spirits for the hubby, when I noticed a man lurking. I avoided making all eye contact but, he followed me to the chip isle. As I'm picking out the chips this man says, "That is a nice purse, where did you get it?" I replied "at the Mossy Oak outlet in West Point." His stare felt like it was piercing through me and I could not escape from his wrath, as he kept talking to me. Finally, when I was able to escape from him, I kicked it in high gear and finished my shopping and was back at the truck in less than ten minutes.
When I got in the truck my legs were burning and I could barely catch my breath. The hubby and I discussed what happened to me in Wal-Mart and the answer was obvious. Could it be after 12 years I was being picked up on in Wal-Mart?
The experience that I had on that Friday winter night gave me the idea to observe the men in Wal-Mart and come up with a dating guide for women. If men can pick up women in Wal-Mart, why can women?
First things first, when dressing for a trip to Wal-Mart you must dress as you normally do. You want to let the guy know what you’re all about by dressing normal. Next you will have to plan your attack. Number one important rule is to always pick out two departments that you would want to scope out for a man. I will help you out with this by giving you examples. For instance, if you want a man that likes to work in the yard, go to the garden section, if you want a sportsman go to sporting goods, if you want a man that is up to date with all the latest and greatest electronics, go to the electronic section. Try to stay away from cosmetics, lingerie, crafts and the condemn section.
When entering your department of choice, make sure that you walk in with confidence and have a look on your face like you know something no one else does. Give the department a quick look. Identify the men who are married and the men that you are not interested. There are men out there doing the exact same thing you are doing and these men will stick out. Next, pick out three men that interest you and walk buy each one of them making eye contact. Hot tamale is when you both make eye contact at the same time. If you receive a hot tamale, make this man your top priority. Approach the isle that he is in front of and gently say “excuse me” and take the merchandise and put it in your buggy. More than likely this item is going to be an item that you do not need, and you will be able to get rid of it when you check out.
If he is on the hunt he will make a comment to you and if he is not interested then he will ignore you. Once this interaction has taken place, go ahead and finish your shopping. If you made an impression on this man, he will come looking for you.
By now I am sure you are probably asking yourself “what does a married woman know about finding men in Wal-Mart”. Well I never said I was an expert at it however; I have spent an enormous amount of money at Wal-Mart and enough time in Wal-Mart to know the patterns of men on the hunt for a woman.
I hope you enjoyed this story! I must say that this story was the funniest one of all to write!
Sincerely,
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